About a week ago I sat down with the intention of posting a note here to announce our anticipation of another child. I didn't figure out how to put it, so I abandoned the effort after a sentence or two. I thought I would come back to it. Joie had a miscarriage early Monday morning. We lost our baby that we were just beginning to love. So we are sad.
Joie has been feeling a lot better now, and we know that God is good.
I think we have a need to attribute. Part of me wants to know what caused our little bitty baby to not make it. I feel like it must be a result of some failure of mine to love it or be a better pappa for it. Anyone could argue against that, I am not saying it is rational. It is just a typical reaction of mine. Advancing beyond that a bit, I might conclude that it is not my fault, it could happen to anyone. ...statistically speaking... But I think that as a follower of Christ, there is a richer perspective.
(from John 9) As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?"
Christ's disciples showed that painfully familiar reaction, to complete the picture backwards as though the blind beggar's plight should be explained in terms of the events preceding it. "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus, "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life..." Jesus spoke in terms of what might be.
In a fallen world reeking with the perversions of God's designs, it is impossible to trace a single sorrow to its cause. Jesus did not come to damn the world for its failures, or to untangle the manifold chaos that he found. He came to save [John 3:17], to offer hope and a future [Jeremiah 29:11], and to give himself as a ransom [Matthew 20:28]. From this moment forward.
I think it means that our moment of sorrow can be a source, and not a conclusion only.
In these past few days, I have already become aware of feelings and thoughts that I would not have known otherwise. It is data, observations and findings about life, love, and the character of God. I cannot say I really understand this all of the time. But God gives good gifts to his children.